Setting Boundaries with Teens
This playbook describes a series of steps aimed at helping parents or guardians establish and maintain healthy boundaries with teenagers. The objective is to foster an environment of respect and safety through clear communication and consistent enforcement of boundaries.
Step 1: Self-Reflection
Reflect on your own values and the reasons behind setting specific boundaries. Determine what is non-negotiable, and understand why these boundaries are important to you and your teen's wellbeing.
Step 2: Open Dialogue
Initiate an open and honest conversation with your teen. Explain your perspective and listen to their thoughts and feelings. Aim for mutual understanding and respect.
Step 3: Set Expectations
Clearly outline the boundaries and expectations you have for your teen. Discuss the reasoning behind these boundaries to ensure they understand their importance.
Step 4: Collaboration
Collaborate with your teen to navigate boundary setting. Involve them in the process to give them a sense of ownership and responsibility.
Step 5: Consistency
Remain consistent with the enforcement of boundaries. Consistency reinforces their importance and helps your teen respect and adhere to them.
Step 6: Consequences
Discuss and implement fair and appropriate consequences for when boundaries are crossed. Ensure these are understood and agreed upon in advance.
Step 7: Reassessment
Regularly reassess and adjust the boundaries as needed. Acknowledge your teen's growth and changes in circumstances that may warrant alterations to the set boundaries.
Step 8: Support
Provide support and positive reinforcement when your teen respects the boundaries. Acknowledge their efforts to comply and encourage continued cooperation.
General Notes
Flexibility
While consistency is crucial, also be open to flexibility as your teen matures and demonstrates responsibility. Adjusting boundaries can be part of a healthy process.
Role Modeling
Model the behavior you expect from your teen. Setting your own boundaries and respecting theirs will demonstrate the behavior you wish to see.